Someone tells you you’re wrong.<\/p>\n
How do you feel?<\/p>\n
You might feel embarrassed, defensive, or even irritated.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s likely that your default reaction–at least in your head–would be to start coming up with arguments to back up what you said.<\/p>\n
This situation happens all the time. When you disagree with someone, people can take it the wrong way. It\u2019s precisely why being able to disagree tactfully is invaluable–pull this off, and the other person will be much more accepting of your idea. Instead of triggering conflict or hurt feelings, you can disagree in a way that moves the discussion forward.<\/p>\n
Whether you\u2019re brainstorming ideas with your team<\/a> or stating your opinion at a meeting, disagreeing is unavoidable in work environments and even in personal relationships. Disagreeing simply means that your opinion or perspective differs from that of the other person.<\/p>\n In this blog post, we\u2019ll explore how to disagree in English. Specifically, we’ll look into which phrases to use when you disagree along with how you can appear more approachable.<\/p>\n What if you also master the intonation, body language, and gestures to go with that? Then you\u2019ll be really persuasive, even in tricky situations when the other person doesn\u2019t agree with you at first. You can minimize the risk of misunderstandings, whether you\u2019re talking to a client, colleagues, or your boss.<\/p>\n The words that you use when disagreeing are important. While there are several phrases and statements that you can say in English to express disagreement, not all of them might be appropriate for the situation. In fact, some might come on as a bit too strong or abrupt instead of polite.<\/p>\n Communication is more vital than ever at work, and your choice of words will affect how the other person reacts. On top of this, your body language and tone also matter, especially during video calls where there are fewer social cues to focus on.<\/p>\n Once you get the hang of it, you\u2019ll be able to communicate your opinions directly, deal with multiple points of view, and foster teamwork.<\/p>\n On top of this, here\u2019s a technique that you can follow when you\u2019re disagreeing with someone:<\/p>\n Regardless of the language that you\u2019re speaking, it\u2019s always more diplomatic to acknowledge the other person\u2019s point first instead of disagreeing right away. People will be more open to hearing your opinion if they feel that you recognize the merits behind what they\u2019re saying. This follows a psychological technique called reflective listening<\/a>, where you summarize the other person\u2019s statement and make them feel understood.<\/p>\n Most of the time, disagreement isn\u2019t total. You might disagree with some of the other person\u2019s points, but you can also see how they reached that line of thinking.<\/p>\n For the first sentence or two that you say, focus on acknowledging the other person or mentioning your common ground. This conveys that your intent is collaboration.<\/p>\n Examples:<\/p>\n The main risk of disagreeing is that the other person might take it personally. You can transition from validating the other person to expressing your opinion by going into your logical reasons for disagreeing.<\/p>\n The more specific details that you can give, the less subjective the discussion will be. Ideally, the other person would feel that you\u2019re disagreeing with their idea in a detached way rather than hinting that they\u2019re wrong.<\/p>\n It also helps to soften your stance by using words such as \u201cI think,\u201d \u201cit might be,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d and \u201cpossibly.\u201d This makes it clear that you\u2019re open to an alternative point of view instead of assuming that you\u2019re right by default.<\/p>\n Example Phrases:<\/p>\n When you disagree with another person, you almost always have an alternative idea or course of action in mind. Stating this out loud can be more constructive than only explaining why the other person\u2019s idea doesn\u2019t work for you. Towards the end, you can signify your willingness to hear their feedback by saying phrases such as \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d or \u201cCould this work?\u201d<\/p>\n This makes the tone of the discussion solution-oriented. The other person\u2019s free to respond to your idea by building on it, asking questions, or even stating why they themselves disagree with it. Either way, there\u2019s a new point to discuss. A collaborative back-and-forth like this can eventually lead both of you to a solution that works for everyone.<\/p>\n Example Phrases:<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how this could play out in actual work situations:<\/p>\n Situation:<\/strong> Your coworker wants to have more frequent meetings about a project, but you\u2019d prefer to make written updates instead.<\/p>\n What you can say:<\/strong> \u201cI agree that we need to have frequent updates about this project [Step 1<\/em>]. Since meetings can be time-consuming [Step 2<\/em>], maybe we can try sending out written updates every day and meeting up once a week first. What do you think? [Step 3<\/em>]\u201d<\/p>\n Situation:<\/strong> During brainstorming, a team member proposes a campaign that you think would be too expensive given your company\u2019s current stage.<\/p>\n What you can say:<\/strong> \u201cI like how creative that is–it\u2019ll definitely catch a lot of attention [Step 1<\/em>]. I\u2019m wondering if we can execute it once we\u2019ve gained more traction. The cost can be very high, and it might overwhelm our budget [Step 2<\/em>]. What if we start with smaller social media ads first, then move on to that eventually? [Step 3<\/em>]\u201d<\/p>\n Aside from the structure described above, you\u2019ll also want to consider the following:<\/p>\n Statements that start with \u201cyou\u201d might seem like second nature if you\u2019re in a discussion. Since you\u2019re referring to the other person\u2019s points, it seems factually accurate to start off with \u201cYou said that\u2026\u201d or \u201cYou explained that\u2026\u201d However, in English, statements like this can sound harsh, especially when you follow it with why you disagree.<\/p>\n So-called \u201cyou\u201d statements can sound more negative and judgmental, so be mindful about using them. You can start your statements with \u201cI\u201d<\/a> instead, as shown in the previous example phrases.<\/p>\nA Technique for Disagreeing Diplomatically in English<\/h3>\n
1. Acknowledge the other person.<\/h4>\n
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2. Explain the logic behind why you disagree.<\/h4>\n
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3. Offer an alternative course of action.<\/h4>\n
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Putting It All Together<\/h4>\n
Additional Tips on How to Disagree in English<\/h3>\n
Avoiding \u201cyou\u201d statements<\/h4>\n
Maintaining an approachable body language<\/h4>\n